Catch up on previous episodes:
Meanwhile, aboard the MoonShip Waist of Space…
Commander Tarquin Stuart-Lane awoke the following morning, later than he should have, and in a state of total confusion. This was quite normal for him, so there was nothing to worry about. He pulled himself up from his reclining chair and looked around for his colleague, Commander Meredith Winstanley. She was not in her seat. Again, not unusual as she was in the habit of rising at a sensible time; at least, so it seemed to her. Tarquin regarded her getting-up habit as decidedly abnormal. Tarquin liked the hours counter on the digital clock in whatever confined space he found himself to reach double figures before he would agree to face the world. He called for Merry who, although he didn’t know it, was standing directly behind him.
“Hoy, hoy,” she said, giving the usual greeting between people of their… er… whatever.
Not expecting her to be so close, Tarquin gave a little scream. She touched him on the head and shusshed him.
“Had the weirdest dream last night, Merry, old thing,” he said after he’d calmed enough to speak in as near to a coherent fashion as he could, “can’t make out what it was all about.”
“Tell me,” Merry replied.
“In my dream,” he began, “we’d landed on the moon thingy, but there were buildings on it. Big, red buildings.”
“And what’s worse, a ginormous alien came out from the nearest building and told us to move. When we said we couldn’t move; lack of a button for that; the alien picked us up and moved us. Funniest thing though; the alien was like, oh I don’t know, five metres high or something, but he sounded like a small child. What do you make of that, eh?”
Merry remained silent.
“I was thinking about what you said,” Merry said. “It’s weird alright. But you know what’s even more weird?”
“All of that actually happened.”
“You mean I dreamed about it after it happened?”
“Yah. First it happened, which obviously I didn’t know. Then I dreamed about it. How spooky is that?”
“Tarquin; you’re not making sense.”
“Yah. No. Sure I am. Look. All this happened, but I didn’t know about it because, obviously, I wasn’t there. If I’d been there I would have known about it and so it wouldn’t be a dream, right?”
“You’re confusing me, Tarquin.”
“Okay. Yah. Right-oh. So if I wasn’t there, but dreamed about it afterwards, does that make me kind of, like, clairvoyant, only in reverse?”
“Let me see if I understand this, Tarq,” Merry said, her voice tinged with exasperation, “you think you’re clairvoyant—”
“Only in reverse.”
“Yah. Exactimundo. Don’t know why you’re struggling with this, Merry; it’s quite straightforward.”
“So your dream was a sort of post-monition?”
“Yah. Like a premonition but backwards.”
“Tarquin, can I say something that might shock you?”
“Do we have coffee?”
“No, only sardines.”
“Okay, I’ll have a cup of sardines, then. What is going to shock me, or is it just that we don’t have any coffee?”
“Forget about the coffee. Forget about the sardines—”
“Can I have a cup of water then?”
“SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!”
“Sorry, old thing. You on your—”
“Okay. This is Commander Tarquin Stuart-Lane of the Moonship Waist of Space shutting up,” he said, pulling his fingers across his lips in a symbolic zipping movement.
“Tarquin. Now listen carefully. Are you listening?”
“Mm,” he said, though zipped lips.
“Tarquin. Dear, sweet, innocent, if a little obtuse Tarquin. You were there. Do you want me to play back the video to prove it?”
“Gosh. Have we got video on board?”
“Okay. Don’t show me then. I’ll have to believe you. If I was there, then, perhaps I didn’t dream it?”
“And the penny dropped.”
“Oh, dear. That’s not good. You want me to pick it up, Merry?” Tarquin asked.
“No need. I’ll get it.”
“Can I go back to sleep for an hour or so, please? My head hurts.”
“I expect it does, Tarquin. In fact, I think I’ll join you.”
“Only room for one, I’m afraid.”
“Never mind, then. I’ll use my own seat. Wake me up when you’re ready to start work on our project.”
I wrote part one of this tale in response to Kreative Kue 39, issued on this site earlier. Feel free to join in; just follow the link.