I can’t believe I’m actually going to do this, I thought, as I signed my name at the bottom of the contract.
That was three weeks ago.
Three weeks ago, I was certain, positive, resolute about what I wanted. There was no doubt in my mind; none whatever. I had put up with the status quo for fifteen long years and had decided to take it no longer.
Now, I’m not so sure.
Now I realise that if I’d spoken about the things that annoyed, upset, distressed and frightened me, instead of keeping them all inside, I may not have ended up where I am today.
What made me do it? I don’t know. It was probably only a small thing; something that I’d normally shrug off, but as time passed, minor irritations had been festering inside for so long, that they became major issues. As a small crack in the wall of a dam can become a catastrophic fissure under the constant pressure of tidal flow, so the incessant crushing weight of annoyances caused something in my mind to crack. And I paid the money and signed the contract.
Three weeks later, the contract has been satisfied, the deed done.
Had I known then what I know now, I would never have signed the paper; never have handed over the money. I wouldn’t now be alone. I would still have a wife.
This week's challenge at esthernewtonblog.wordpress.com asked for a story containing the words, "I can't believe I'm actually going to do this, I thought".