“Hey, humans. Get that phone will ya? Where did everyone go?”
“We are in the kitchen, Ralphy. Just let it ring.”
“OMG. Did you have to have a klaxon horn for a ringtone?”
“George maybe you had better answer it.”
“Not me. You know who it is.”
“You don’t know that for sure. Go look see if the caller ID confirms it.”
“I’m telling you, I don’t even want to go near it. She’ll know.”
“Don’t be a fool. She will not know.”
“You humans in the house. Anybody going to answer this thing or do I keep on barking?”
“Hush Ralphy. I’m coming to look.”
“Look? Why not just toss it out?”
“Harriet. It is her. I’m not going to answer it.”
“George you coward. Hit the silent button.”
“She’ll know I hit silent.”
“She won’t care. Our lunch is going to the flies. Shut the phone off. I don’t know why we run when that thing goes off anyway.”
“Okay, there I did it.”
“Good man. See you are brave after all. Okay, Ralphy jump back up on your chair and let’s continue with our lunch.”
“By the way. How did you teach that dog to use a knife and fork?”
“It was easy. I think he already knew. Was that her on the phone?”
“See she never knew.”
“Wait until next time.”
“Why does she keep calling?”
“I dunno. I guess she doesn’t have a lot of friends.”
“What does she want anyway?”
“To give us a sea cruise.”
“What’s wrong with that anyway?”
“We get seasick, and I would hate to disappoint her by saying no.”
“You are a good man, George. Ralphy don’t gulp your food. Take a drink of water.”
“He handles that bottle well too.”
My effort was:
Well. I never expected that.
I had heard that some dogs had special powers but never really believed it. I mean; whoever heard of a dog that could do such things? This, though, is seriously cool. It makes me wonder what else I can do.
What’s that? What have I done? I’ll tell you, but before I do, let me give you some background.
You can see from the picture that I’m a small dog; a Shih Tzu. I’m about eight years old and, yes, I’m a bit porky. We’re working on that, though. At least, we were until… but I’m getting ahead of myself.
I was thinking last week about my first companion, a Chihuahua who died a few years ago. What was special about him was that he had these ninja eyes that could do things. What sort of things? Well. He reckoned, and whether it’s true or not I never did find out, but he did reckon that he could read humans’ minds with them. What certainly seemed to be true was that he could make them do things. He proved that once by looking at Mistress and willing her to change the television to that Dog Whisperer programme. He knew I liked it and he was trying to get back into my good graces after he’d gone and pooped all over my dinner to spite me. In fairness, I did eat his before starting on my own, so I suppose I deserved it, but he was a lot smaller than me, so that was a stupid move for him to make. Now, whether he affected her or just hit lucky, I couldn’t tell, but I got to watch the programme anyway. At the time, I thought it was coincidence, but after today, I’m not so sure.
According to my uncle, a Jack Russell Terrier called Trevor (if you look carefully, you can just see part of him hiding under the table in the photo), there are lots of different looks you can give your humans to make them do what you want them to. His speciality is the pathetic look. When you do that, humans can’t help themselves; they’ll let you get away with almost anything. Or so he says.
Anyway. Today, my Mistress (she likes me to think of her as my Mummy) was having lunch outside, with Trevor’s humans. I say lunch, but whether beans on toast counts, I don’t know. Doesn’t seem like a meal to me. They usually eat much more, and have some left for us afterwards. But beans? Toast? No thanks. I’d rather stay hungry. The three humans were talking, and my Mistress was looking at something on her phone. My companion and Trevor’s were inside the house, I think. I found the whole thing rather boring. I looked at Uncle Trev, but he had his scrounging look on and didn’t notice me. He’ll eat anything, so beans on toast will be a treat to him.
All I could hear was humans talking, insects buzzing, birds singing, a tractor in the field next to us and a dog howling somewhere. There was a noise coming from the neighbour’s workshop and some awful stuff they call music from the radio inside the house. I could feel something boiling up inside me. I wasn’t sure what it was, and I was a bit worried about it. Then a jet flew low overhead, making a frightful noise. That started Trev barking, and the two inside joined in. As usual.
I’m not entirely sure what happened next. I screwed up my eyes and stretched. You know how sometimes, when you stretch really hard, it seems to close your ears off so you can’t hear anything? That.
In silence and darkness, a random thought flashed through my head. “Why don’t you all just shut up, bugger off and leave me alone?” Then I opened my eyes and ears again, and the humans were nowhere to be seen.
I have the power. I am super-dog. I can do anything.
Okay. Who’s going to take me for a walk?
On to this week’s challenge: Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at email@example.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.
Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.